Mel Robbins

She closes 15 deals a month. She built a six-figure business from scratch. She can hyperfocus on a client project for six hours straight without breaking. And yet, she can’t remember to send a birthday card, her desk is chaos, and that inner voice won’t stop whispering, What’s wrong with you?

Sound familiar?

For decades, ADHD has been understood through the lens of hyperactive boys who can’t sit still in class. Meanwhile, an entire generation of women has been quietly struggling, misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression, developing eating disorders, and beating themselves up for what they believed were character flaws. According to podcast host and motivational speaker Mel Robbins, who was diagnosed with ADHD at age 47, this isn’t just about missed appointments or messy desks. It’s about a fundamental neurological difference that manifests entirely differently in women than in men.

The Silent Struggle: Why Girls Get Missed

The statistics are staggering. While boys with ADHD typically present symptoms around age seven through physical behaviors like fidgeting, impulsivity, and difficulty sitting still, girls present later, around age 12, with symptoms that are almost entirely internal. We daydream. We’re disorganized. We’re forgetful. We make careless mistakes. And critically, we turn it all inward.

As Robbins explains in her transformative podcast episode, when a girl with ADHD sits in a classroom watching her peers stay organized while her locker is chaos, she doesn’t think, My brain works differently. She thinks, Something is wrong with me.

Dr. Ellen Litman, clinical psychologist and author of Understanding Girls with ADHD, notes that the outcomes for girls are significantly worse than boys because ADHD materializes dramatically differently. While boys often improve with age, girls get worse. The daydreaming and forgetfulness of childhood morphs into anxiety and depression in adolescence, and can escalate to eating disorders, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. The risk for self-harm and suicide attempts is four to five times greater for girls with ADHD.

The Prefrontal Cortex: Your Missing Conductor

Understanding what’s actually happening in an ADHD brain changes everything. Think of your prefrontal cortex as an orchestra conductor. When you need to focus, this conductor performs two critical functions. First, it suppresses distractions, both external noise from your environment and internal noise from your thoughts and bodily sensations. Then, it amplifies your ability to focus on the task at hand.

For someone with ADHD, the conductor is missing. As Robbins describes from her experience at Dartmouth, she would sit in the library with every intention of studying, but the moment she opened a book, the orchestra started warming up. I think I’m hungry. Do I need to use the bathroom? Is that Emily walking by? She was burning mental fuel trying to suppress distractions she couldn’t control while simultaneously attempting to focus on material she couldn’t process, all while her classmates seemed to breeze through their work.

Brain scans reveal that people with ADHD often show what appear to be holes in the prefrontal cortex, areas with insufficient blood flow. The brain isn’t getting the dopamine and neurotransmitters it needs to function optimally. This is why so many people with ADHD chase dopamine through shopping, alcohol, or other addictive behaviors. It’s not a character flaw or lack of willpower. It’s a neurobiological attempt to compensate for what the brain isn’t producing naturally.

The Entrepreneur’s Paradox: Success Despite the Chaos

Here’s where it gets interesting for those of us running businesses. ADHD has a high correlation with entrepreneurial success, creativity, problem-solving, and risk-taking. The same brain that can’t remember to pay the electric bill on time can hyperfocus on building a business strategy for six hours straight. The same person who loses her keys daily might be brilliant at seeing patterns and opportunities others miss.

This is what Robbins calls hyperfocus, one of the six surprising signs of adult ADHD. It’s not about whether you can focus. It’s about the lack of control over where and when you focus. You can spend hours on a client presentation but can’t force yourself to respond to three simple emails.

But success doesn’t erase the internal struggle. After every achievement, that critical inner voice returns. Why can’t I keep my desk clean? Why am I always running late? Why do simple tasks feel impossibly huge?

Structure for Non-Linear Minds: A Different Approach to Organization

Traditional planners and organizational systems are built for linear thinkers. They assume your brain works like everyone else’s. But what if you need structure that bends with you instead of breaking you?

This is the philosophy behind Atelier de la Cour, a luxury journaling and planning system designed specifically for entrepreneurs with non-linear minds. Rather than rigid daily schedules that induce guilt when you inevitably deviate from them, these tools offer flexible frameworks that work with your brain’s natural patterns.

For the entrepreneur who hyperfocuses on creative projects but struggles with routine administrative tasks, a planning system needs to accommodate both states. It needs space for the brilliant ideas that arrive at 2 AM and the grounding structure that ensures client invoices actually get sent. It needs to quiet the orchestra without demanding you become someone you’re not.

The key is understanding that organization for an ADHD brain isn’t about working harder or developing more discipline. It’s about creating external systems that compensate for internal challenges. It’s about accepting that your brain will always want to chase the dopamine of the new and exciting, so you need tangible anchors that keep essential tasks visible and accessible.

From Shame to Understanding: The Path Forward

The most damaging aspect of undiagnosed ADHD isn’t the missed deadlines or the clutter. It’s the narrative you’ve been telling yourself for decades. I’m lazy. I’m undisciplined. I’m a mess. Everyone else has it together except me.

As Robbins emphasizes, there is nothing wrong with you. Your brain simply works differently, and that difference comes with both profound challenges and remarkable gifts. The entrepreneur who sees this truth can stop fighting herself and start building systems that support her actual neurology rather than some idealized version of how she thinks she should function.

Recognition is the first step. Whether you seek formal diagnosis or simply begin to understand why certain tasks have always felt impossible while others come naturally, naming the struggle removes its power. You’re not broken. Your prefrontal cortex just needs some support.

The second step is creating an environment that works for your brain. This might mean:

• Keeping important tasks physically visible rather than tucked in a drawer

• Building in transition time between hyperfocus sessions and routine tasks

• Using tactile, beautiful tools that provide sensory satisfaction alongside function

• Accepting that you’ll never be the person with the color-coded filing system, and that’s completely fine

• Designing your workspace and planning systems around who you actually are, not who you think you should be

You’re Not Alone

If you’ve read this far and felt that uncomfortable recognition in your chest, the feeling of Oh. This is me, you’re part of a lost generation of women finally getting answers. Women who built successful businesses while secretly convinced they were frauds. Women who achieved remarkable things despite feeling fundamentally disorganized. Women who are just now learning that the internal chaos wasn’t a moral failing.

The conversation around ADHD in women is changing. Researchers are finally studying how it presents differently across genders. Clinicians are learning to look beyond hyperactivity to the internal symptoms that have been hiding in plain sight. And women are finding each other, sharing stories, and realizing they’ve been fighting the same battle in isolation.

Whether you pursue formal diagnosis, explore medication options, or simply begin implementing environmental supports, the most important shift is internal. You can stop asking, What’s wrong with me? and start asking, What does my brain need to thrive?

Your business doesn’t need you to be organized like everyone else. It needs you to be brilliantly, authentically yourself, with systems that ground you when the orchestra gets too loud and space to hyperfocus when inspiration strikes. It needs you to stop apologizing for the way your mind works and start designing a life that celebrates it.

There’s nothing wrong with you. There never was.

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Resource:

Mel Robbins Podcast Episode 76: The Lost Generation of Women with ADHD

Note: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical condition. If you suspect you may have ADHD, please consult with a qualified healthcare professional.